I have had some interesting conversations with a few guys lately about domination. They have had a few fears that are probably well-founded, but are based on certain myths stereotypes about dommes.
First of all, I cannot take anything from you that you do not want to give. For example, financial domination may turn you on in fantasy, but that does not mean you actually want me to drain your wallet, any more than a rape fantasy means you want to get raped or a piss fantasy means you want somebody to piss down your throat. Phone dommes are in the business of fantasy. We want to make your fantasies come to life in ways that feel safe to you. We are not there with you, so we rely on words and shared images to create an emotional and erotic response in you.
Now that is not to say there aren’t financial dommes out there who wouldn’t be happy to drain your wallet. Hell, I am happy to accept your tips, for that matter. You DO need to protect yourself from dommes with poor ethics and boundaries. Don’t give out your personal information, credit card numbers, etc to anybody.
But what if that is your particular fantasy, that a domme knows all about you? Be careful. Very careful. First of all, interview a domme to make sure she “feels” right to you. You should feel a sense of trust with anyone to whom you give power. I suggest a 30 minute introductory session so that we can BOTH get to know each other, and over time, as we develop trust and rapport, our sessions become more intense.
Second of all, if you MUST share something personal, give only partial pieces of information to see how she treats it. And understand that when you share any information you are taking certain risks. Evaluate those risks WHEN YOU ARE NOT AROUSED to weigh out the potential reward.
My own personal sense of ethics requires that I never contact a caller outside the realm which we have established as our play zone. Even my live domination sessions happen within a very specific set of boundaries. If I violate those boundaries, I have NO right to be a person’s dominant. I have been given power, a very precious gift, that I have to use responsibly and never, ever abuse.
I only want that which you freely give. That doesn’t mean you sometimes won’t be scared in our fantasies…I like you to experience new things, travel in new erotic territory in your fantasies. I hope I can push your limits some so that you expand and grow. NOT so that you lose anything, but so that you gain much.
I will expect that on our first call and on each and every call after that that you and I will discuss boundaries. Some boundaries we will change during each call. Others are firm. For example, I will never, ever meet callers outside our phone relationship. Period.
I hope you will feel free to call to ask any questions so that you feel both aroused and safe with me. Most of all, I look forward to standing above you in our fantasies, seeing that look of submission and gratitude in your eyes.